I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
