Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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