I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
