I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
