im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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