I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
