I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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