Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
