i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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