Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
