We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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