i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize