At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
