I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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