to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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