i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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