i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
