He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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