just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize