Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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