The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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