Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
