i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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