Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
