i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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