Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize