he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
