I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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