Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just high enough for therapy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
