We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
