Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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