You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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