Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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