guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
