it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
