She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
