OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
