Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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