Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
