She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
