just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
