She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just pee around me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
