I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
