He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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