I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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