You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
