I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
