Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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