I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
3 2 1 whiskey
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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