HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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