Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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