Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
