i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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