I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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