evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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