I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize