we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
