There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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