i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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