Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
