the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize